oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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