at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
