Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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