Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
