Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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