How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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