I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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