I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
