you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
