Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the day after is always just damage control
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
