The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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