I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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