I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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