puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
