I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
