Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
