I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
