I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
