I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
