well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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