"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
