Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
