yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
