I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
