how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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