Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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