all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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