Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm always down for nudity.
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