We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
