He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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