did you get engaged???
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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