Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
