Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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