The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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