Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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