I didn't shave. On purpose
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
