I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
do nipples grow back?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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