I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
