if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
a search helicopter?!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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