Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
