babies were throwing up all over the place
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
