If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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