FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
