Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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