Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
