Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
