Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
