mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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