I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
