yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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