Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
