it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
