Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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