New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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